Diary: Moving On From A Relationship

Hey All!

As i mentioned on my very first post on this site, i wanted you all to have a deeper insight on me and get to know me and who i am in general. Im human just like everyone else, i go through things. So i thought i would share something i actually wrote afew months ago, about dealing with a relationship break up and the reasons why i had to move on, and hopefully this could help someone out there.

The reasons why i had to remember to move on from a relationship and why this could help you too:

* The relationship was broken beyond repair, no matter how much i tried to mend it, the pieces just wouldn’t come back and stay together

* I was 100% in love and gave him my absolute all, whilst he gave me 2%, i fought he didnt, i cried he still walked away, i was hurting like hell yet he still walked away, i sacrafised my life for him and he didnt feel any remorse, i brought him gifts, gave him all of me physically, and he took for himself and was ready to walk away from me anyway

* Love isnt being mistreated, disrespected, neglected, put in 5th place and casted aside for convenience, ignored, unbalanced, one sided or selfish.

* I had been unhappy for a long time and i couldn’t shake it off even if i pretended because it just didnt feel right anymore, yet i gave him chances after chances, tried to act right, to see if it would work out. It wouldn’t last forever because i couldn’t be the same girl he uses and abuses any longer, they are not apart of my aspirations for being a loving girlfriend or wife, not in that way, thats not the way i picture giving my love.

* I had reached my breaking point.. i just couldn’t fathom anymore sleepless nights and tears, or endure anymore broken heartedness, or repeated pain.

* I want to love in peace and freedom, i want to love freely and without pain or putting myself on the line to be set up for failure

* I was not created for him by the lord, what the lord has for me, is for me, what he takes away from me was not meant for me

* I trust the lord more than i will ever trust anyone else, through thick and thin, when all else fails and when everyone leaves, hes the only one who still remains and stays by my side.

* We needed to erase each other, we constantly hurt each other, however he hurt me alone, i meant it in my heart when i told him to leave me alone now, it was for the best, i did it for us.

* The fears i have is just a demon and an internal battle i am fighting within myself, i am fighting for me right now, it has nothing to do with anyone else and these fears are not real.

* We are human, we make mistakes, we just couldn’t understand each other. I know he will hurt at some point just like me, maybe not to the same extent but i know he will think about me. I hope he just remembers the good times.

* Some one day he will realise the love i gave was immense, it was true and genuine. He will never find another like myself, that i know for sure because i am certainly one of a kind and i know what i bring to the table.

* One day i will forgive him and our paths will cross once again maybe for one final time for forgiveness and closure, and by then we would have truly let go of what would have been and we would have already been prepared for our future happiness.

* One day ill be so proud of who he will become and the wife he will have, who he will give his all too, and who will deserve it, hes dreams that will come true and the success he will have. Ill see hes children and be so happy they have such an amazing father (who i once knew) and who he will one day become.

* In the silence, time heals all wounds and the unknown will become my new normal, i let go in peace and let god. Knowing i did all that i could to be true to it all.

Amen.

Cilla xox

01/01/2017 3:39pm

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